The Wisdom Keepers - Menopause, Matriarchs and the Art of Passing Knowledge Forward

The Living Apothecary Method™ | Elderwood House

Rooted in experience. Guided by grace. Growing through wisdom.

What if menopause is more than an ending?

For generations, menopause has been discussed largely through the language of loss.

The end of fertility. Declining reproductive hormones. Changes to sleep, mood, cognition and physical wellbeing. A transition too often associated with ageing rather than opportunity.

Yet I wonder whether we have been looking at only one part of the story.

What if we considered menopause not simply as the conclusion of reproductive life, but as a transition within a much longer human journey?

What if the accumulated knowledge, experience and relationships of older women have played an important role in the survival and development of our communities?

Evolutionary biology offers us a fascinating starting point.

The Grandmother Hypothesis

Humans are unusual among mammals because women may live for several decades after their reproductive years have ended.

One explanation proposed by evolutionary researchers is the Grandmother Hypothesis.

This hypothesis suggests that post-reproductive women may have contributed to the survival and reproductive success of their descendants by providing food, care, practical knowledge and support.

In evolutionary biology, helping genetically related individuals survive and reproduce can contribute to what is known as inclusive fitness.

Research by Hawkes and colleagues (1998) explored how grandmothering might have influenced human life histories, including longevity.

The hypothesis remains debated. It is not established that grandmothering alone explains the evolution of menopause, and researchers continue to investigate other biological and evolutionary explanations.

Nevertheless, it offers an intriguing perspective.

Perhaps the significance of a woman's life cannot be understood solely through her reproductive capacity.

The wisdom of whale matriarchs

Some of the most compelling evidence for the value of post-reproductive females comes from studies of killer whales.

In certain resident killer whale populations, older females play important leadership roles within their family groups.

Research by Brent and colleagues (2015) found that post-reproductive females were particularly likely to lead group movements during periods of low salmon availability.

Their accumulated ecological knowledge may help their families locate food when resources are scarce.

Further research by Nattrass and colleagues (2019) found that post-reproductive grandmothers can improve the survival of their grandoffspring.

More recently, research published in Nature by Ellis and colleagues (2024) examined the evolution of menopause in toothed whales.

The researchers identified menopause in five toothed whale species: killer whales, short-finned pilot whales, false killer whales, belugas and narwhals.

Their findings suggest that menopause evolved in these species through an extension of lifespan without a corresponding extension of reproductive lifespan.

This is particularly interesting because it suggests that extended post-reproductive life has evolved independently in different mammalian lineages.

The research also explores how social relationships and the benefits of helping relatives may have influenced this evolutionary development.

These findings do not mean that whales experience menopause in exactly the same way as humans.

However, they invite us to think about the evolutionary importance of experience, social relationships and knowledge.

What elephants can teach us

Elephants offer another remarkable example of the value of older females.

Although elephants are not generally recognised as a menopausal species in the same sense as humans and certain toothed whales, older elephant matriarchs possess important social and ecological knowledge.

Research by McComb and colleagues (2001) demonstrated that older matriarchs were particularly effective at distinguishing familiar from unfamiliar social signals.

Such abilities may help elephant families respond appropriately to potential threats and maintain social relationships.

Their knowledge is accumulated through experience.

It cannot simply be replaced by physical strength or reproductive ability.

Across these different species, a fascinating theme emerges.

Experience can become a resource that benefits others.

We must be careful not to assume that animal behaviour directly explains human society. Nevertheless, these studies encourage us to reconsider the importance of older individuals within social communities.

Elderwood: The Wisdom Keepers

Within The Living Apothecary Method™, Elderwood is the house associated with menopause, maturity, reflection and renewal.

At The Sanctuary, when a woman draws the Elderwood card, I introduce the philosophy of The Wisdom Keepers.

For me, this has always been about recognising the knowledge we accumulate throughout our lives.

Not simply knowledge gained through qualifications or formal education, but the understanding developed through relationships, challenges, creativity, work, reflection and lived experience.

A wisdom keeper is not someone who knows everything.

Nor is wisdom automatically bestowed by age.

Wisdom requires curiosity, humility and the willingness to reconsider what we believe we know.

It also requires grace.

The grace to listen.

The grace to recognise another person's perspective.

And sometimes the grace to accept that our own understanding is incomplete.

The teacher is also the learner

Throughout my professional life in education and complementary therapy, I have believed that meaningful learning is rarely a one-way process.

I was fortunate to experience a ten-year mentorship with a shaman whose approach to teaching and spiritual exploration encouraged reflection, curiosity and the exchange of ideas.

Our relationship was never simply one of teacher and student.

It was a reciprocal exchange in which we both brought knowledge, experience and different perspectives to our conversations.

I also had the privilege of contributing to his writing as a second reader of one of his books.

One of the most important lessons I carried forward was the value of grace: being willing to see the world through another person's eyes.

That experience strengthened a belief I continue to hold.

A teacher does not stop being a learner simply because they are teaching.

Likewise, a learner does not arrive without knowledge simply because they are beginning a new subject.

Everyone brings a history.

Everyone brings experiences.

And everyone has something that may enrich the understanding of others.

This philosophy has influenced the way I approach education, mentorship and therapeutic relationships.

Wisdom, creativity and connection

Knowledge is not transmitted only through lectures, textbooks or formal instruction.

It can emerge through conversation, storytelling, creative expression and shared experiences.

Many years ago, I was introduced to Julia Cameron's The Artist's Way, a programme exploring creativity, reflection and personal discovery.

I completed the programme independently and later returned to it as part of an international creative learning group.

Our facilitator was based in Belgium, and every Thursday at 12.30 pm, we gathered online with people from different countries and cultural backgrounds.

Although geographically separated, we developed a shared space for creativity, reflection and conversation.

Our Artist Dates encouraged us to explore creativity in imaginative and sometimes unexpected ways.

On one occasion, we spent an hour painting while listening to music before coming together to share our work.

But we were not simply discussing colour, technique or artistic ability.

We explored the emotions behind our paintings.

The same activity had produced very different experiences.

Each person brought their own memories, interpretations and feelings.

What struck me was not the artistic outcome.

It was how differently each person experienced the same activity.

The exercise created an opportunity to listen, reflect and understand perspectives beyond our own.

For me, this is part of the art of wisdom keeping.

Not simply preserving what we know, but remaining open to what others can teach us.

Menopause deserves a wider conversation

Menopause is a physiological transition involving changes in ovarian function and reproductive hormones.

For some women, symptoms are mild. For others, they can be disruptive, distressing and long-lasting.

These experiences deserve appropriate healthcare, evidence-informed treatment and compassionate support.

But menopause should never become the entirety of a woman's identity.

Some women experience midlife as a period of renewed creativity, confidence or exploration.

Others face caring responsibilities, financial pressures, illness, bereavement or significant uncertainty.

There is no universal experience.

Nor should we romanticise menopause by suggesting that every woman must become a mentor, grandmother, leader or caregiver.

Women have value regardless of motherhood, age, productivity or service to others.

The Wisdom Keepers is not about prescribing another role for women to fulfil.

It is about recognising the value of the lives they have already lived and the possibilities that remain ahead.

Passing knowledge forward

When we look at the Grandmother Hypothesis, whale matriarchs, elephant families and human learning communities, we encounter a shared question.

How does experience benefit those who come after us?

In human societies, knowledge may be passed through education, stories, observation, mentorship and relationships.

But knowledge should never remain static.

Each generation has the opportunity to examine what it receives, preserve what is valuable and challenge what no longer serves us.

Within complementary therapy and wellbeing education, this is particularly important.

Traditional practices, personal experiences and scientific evidence each have different roles.

Respecting traditional knowledge does not remove the need for critical thinking.

And valuing scientific research does not mean dismissing the importance of human experience.

Perhaps wisdom lies partly in understanding these distinctions.

A reflection from The Sanctuary

As I develop The Living Apothecary School, I find myself reflecting on the people who have shaped my understanding of learning, creativity, compassion and human connection.

Some have taught me through formal education.

Others through friendship, mentorship or shared experience.

Some have challenged my thinking.

And many have reminded me that there is always more to discover.

The Wisdom Keepers honours this continuing exchange.

It celebrates women who remain curious, who offer their experience with humility and who recognise that learning does not end at any particular age.

Perhaps we might begin to ask a different question about menopause.

Not simply what is changing or ending, but what remains possible.

We do not stop becoming.

We continue to learn, create, question, connect and discover.

And the wisdom we carry may become one of the most meaningful gifts we share.

From the Elderwood Research Café

A question for reflection

Who has helped shape the wisdom you carry today?

What have you learned from someone whose life experiences were very different from your own?

You might explore these questions through writing, painting, conversation or quiet reflection.

There is no correct answer.

Only an opportunity to become curious.

References and further reading

• Hawkes, K., O'Connell, J. F., Blurton Jones, N. G., Alvarez, H., & Charnov, E. L. (1998). Grandmothering, menopause, and the evolution of human life histories. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 95(3), 1336–1339.

• Brent, L. J. N., et al. (2015). Ecological knowledge, leadership, and the evolution of menopause in killer whales. Current Biology, 25(6), 746–750.

• Nattrass, S., et al. (2019). Postreproductive killer whale grandmothers improve the survival of their grandoffspring. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 116(52), 26669–26673.

• Ellis, S., et al. (2024). The evolution of menopause in toothed whales. Nature, 627, 580–585.

• McComb, K., Moss, C., Durant, S. M., Baker, L., & Sayialel, S. (2001). Matriarchs as repositories of social knowledge in African elephants. Science, 292(5516), 491–494.

• Cameron, J. (1992). The Artist's Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity. Jeremy P. Tarcher.

The Living Apothecary School

Further reflections on mentorship, psychological safety and experiential learning draw upon the author's professional educational practice and research. Additional information may be requested directly from The Living Apothecary School.

The Living Apothecary Method™ — Where science meets soul, wellbeing begins with trust.